About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love football(go niners and ravens) and hockey(woo-hoo sharks.
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University of Texas
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25720) - you deserved it (6438)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4926) - you deserved it (91924)
On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (38878)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41798) - you deserved it (2494)
On 10/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Indonesia (Jawa Timur)
Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14756) - you deserved it (11168)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:38pm - work - by moduschic (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7092) - you deserved it (36412)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (3413)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (2745)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm - misc - by draggirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9237) - you deserved it (30447)
On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (3789)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (2768)
On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (2013)
On 09/25/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11275) - you deserved it (30263)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61324) - you deserved it (3345)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (2272)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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