Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Baconman345

Search for a member

Baconman345
  • Town/Country : U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1544
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love hockey. Going to Boston College. Enough said

Baconman345's last visitors

NandaPandaalexmac222ohishkabibbleamaranth22TheBrochureTheGreatCatUnicornFartsTrollxSeaMonkey87

Baconman345's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of Baconman345's badges

Baconman345's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

#17975485
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (2412)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (22432)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15732) - you deserved it (22930)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

#17909341
132 comments

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (2733)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (8450)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

#17880683
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (10208)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28364) - you deserved it (5285)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML

#17832717
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (3701)

On 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by sadkid - United States

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

#17822826
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (2036)

On 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (7289)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

#17796010
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: