About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love football(go niners and ravens) and hockey(woo-hoo sharks.
)
University of Texas
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38376) - you deserved it (19504)
On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (3798)
On 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (2115)
On 05/17/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Babygirl - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33038) - you deserved it (6590)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5451) - you deserved it (22888)
On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14947) - you deserved it (1794)
On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6105) - you deserved it (24226)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13606) - you deserved it (4005)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (1870)
On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)
Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (2074)
On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (27289)
On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)
Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (1796)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17107) - you deserved it (4328)
On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20027) - you deserved it (4785)
On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10975) - you deserved it (2412)
On 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by lost_ina_dream (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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