Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Baconman345

Search for a member

Baconman345
  • Town/Country : U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1539
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love hockey. Going to Boston College. Enough said

Baconman345's last visitors

NandaPandaalexmac222ohishkabibbleamaranth22TheBrochureTheGreatCatUnicornFartsTrollxSeaMonkey87

Baconman345's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of Baconman345's badges

Baconman345's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

#18346168
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (3462)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (5328)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23107) - you deserved it (1814)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (1596)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (2097)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (18244)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49687)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (2426)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

#18137309
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you deserved it (11892)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:50am - love - by S. Bauer (woman) - Portugal

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22314) - you deserved it (4415)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (2623)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

#18030008
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (3947)

On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: