Baconman345

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Baconman345

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11085
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love hockey. Going to Boston College. Enough said

Baconman345's page activity

Visits<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:21pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>hoppy5312</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:24pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:07am<b>justinccp</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:40am<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:45pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 4:33pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:18pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:27pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 12:57am<b>dm22</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:57pm<b>amaranth22</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 9:41pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>TheGreatCat</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 4:18pm<b>UnicornFarts</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:55pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:55pm<b>SeaMonkey87</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:53pm<b>lissa_jade</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:02pm

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Baconman345's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

by CrappyDay / 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm / United States / Kids

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

by TheRoad42 / 08/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

by iwannagotomiamitoo / 08/19/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

by What. / 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

by really? / 08/13/2013 at 2:58am / United States / Love

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

by wildwonder808 / 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous