Baconman345

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Baconman345

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11095
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love hockey. Going to Boston College. Enough said

Baconman345's page activity

Visits<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:21pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>hoppy5312</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:24pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:07am<b>justinccp</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:40am<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:45pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 4:33pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:18pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:27pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 12:57am<b>dm22</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:57pm<b>amaranth22</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 9:41pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>TheGreatCat</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 4:18pm<b>UnicornFarts</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:55pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:55pm<b>SeaMonkey87</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:53pm<b>lissa_jade</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:02pm

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Baconman345's favorite FMLs

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 11:29am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

by woodless / 12/09/2012 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

by Matt8 / 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 3:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

by kise / 11/28/2012 at 1:20am / Health

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

by boo8713 / 11/28/2012 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

by ohgodwhy / 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids