About Baconman345 : I'm a pretty random guy sometimes...I love football(go niners and ravens) and hockey(woo-hoo sharks.
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University of Texas
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (2433)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (15531)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34109) - you deserved it (2279)
On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45971) - you deserved it (3283)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60749) - you deserved it (5774)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35245) - you deserved it (5214)
On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38853) - you deserved it (16923)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6844) - you deserved it (32885)
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (1660)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38827) - you deserved it (3896)
On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (3959)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32168) - you deserved it (3186)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42021) - you deserved it (2387)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46569) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (7375)
On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Friday 24 May 2013
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