About Back_In_Action : So many idiots, so little time...
I like music, playing Pokemon and washing dishes.
Find me on teh Interbutts:
http://classicstorey.tumblr.com
http://amandasmovieblog.blogspot.com
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http://twitter.com/pandamandatorey
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (6421)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62960) - you deserved it (5692)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (39260)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (3978)
On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (38251)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (38251)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25400) - you deserved it (2574)
On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (11853)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (43838)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12011) - you deserved it (40727)
On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81030) - you deserved it (7244)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (10788)
On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48137) - you deserved it (3252)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (12396)
On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12922) - you deserved it (19882)
Monday 20 May 2013
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