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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40174) - you deserved it (9162)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Fattie (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (44028)
On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (3639)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (74460) - you deserved it (3363)
On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18897) - you deserved it (81920)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (55667)
On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (3075)
On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (34268)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (9766)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60065) - you deserved it (9772)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (18616)
On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31530) - you deserved it (44624)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (4452)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (4299)
On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42072) - you deserved it (18638)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:36am - intimacy - by PreciousIve - United States (New York)
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