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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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BabaBlackShirt

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BabaBlackShirt
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11529
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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BabaBlackShirt's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

#8287074 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (5881) - you deserved it (18350)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (5353) - you deserved it (31688)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (8512)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

#5802914 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (30093) - you deserved it (1094)

On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (5181) - you deserved it (43345)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (77133) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML

#4386622 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (2968)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

#4308181 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (59835)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (50608) - you deserved it (6826)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

#4060488 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (13483) - you deserved it (52762)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:18pm - animals - by Fmycatslife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (39909)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (56274) - you deserved it (2824)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (68691) - you deserved it (4011)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

#3875775 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (5545)

On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - work - by Eh... (man) - Ukraine (Kyyivs'ka Oblast')

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

#3794107 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (40766) - you deserved it (2548)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.