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BZk

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BZk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 546
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BZk's page activity

Visits<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 2:54am

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BZk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11568) - you deserved it (32891)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (5605)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

#16429286
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16761) - you deserved it (34307)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:51am - love - by romantic84 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML

#15547053
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36705) - you deserved it (13049)

On 03/29/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by hiker - United States

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36780) - you deserved it (4300)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (3027)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (26272)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (3062)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

#12501881
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (11868)

On 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm - animals - by Spelit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

#12011441
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (6451)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

#10834271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (13034)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by crashingdown - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21119) - you deserved it (5297)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

#8117396
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you deserved it (34528)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (9920)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)



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