About BVBfan : Hey. I'm Trina. I love reading FML. I'm a 17 year old girl and pretty friendly. I love ppl who are sarcastic on here like perdix and docbastard. :)
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BVBfan's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML
by PreciousIve / 06/09/2009 at 11:36am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML
by Woody / 06/09/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML
by Chipper / 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML
by Kilika / 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 7:11am / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML
by ThanksMom / 06/02/2009 at 8:06am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
by failbaby / 06/02/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML
by biker2012 / 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
by quietdown / 05/30/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (California) / Health
by PiZzA_FaCe / 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by LALALALA / 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to a Bo Bice concert for her birthday. She loves him so I bought us second row seats. After we got there we ran into some friends of hers sitting way back in the lawn section, and of course she wanted to sit with them. I paid $300 to sit on the grass and watch Bo Bice. FML
by roark0806 / 05/29/2009 at 9:54am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line, who looked at me and exclaimed, "Hey look, its Indiana Jones!" which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, "No, he's way too fat." FML
by paperbagofdoom / 05/29/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 12:08am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
- Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door… Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a… Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of…