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BTM707

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BTM707

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 713
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BTM707's page activity

Visits<b>DusktheFMLKat</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:36pm<b>blueboy154</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 9:31pm

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50 favourites

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

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BTM707's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (3621)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44385) - you deserved it (2613)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50452) - you deserved it (2479)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36454) - you deserved it (35406)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (7606)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48483) - you deserved it (3513)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53083) - you deserved it (10114)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57587) - you deserved it (7206)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (8154)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44744) - you deserved it (25514)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

#21185382
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38657) - you deserved it (23219)

On 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by AGB10 - United Kingdom (Kent)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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