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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be pet. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18727) - you deserved it (60726)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42855) - you deserved it (6009)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49975) - you deserved it (3217)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40015) - you deserved it (1712)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42479) - you deserved it (6056)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (8830)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81754) - you deserved it (24059)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33543) - you deserved it (3868)
On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (3402)
On 07/16/2009 at 8:05pm - love - by CityGirl (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (39249)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (38673)
On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50351) - you deserved it (5966)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (120450) - you deserved it (28815)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (372735) - you deserved it (33241)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
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