About BMTHsuperfan : Hey my name is Morgan(: Bisexual, Gemini, junior in high school. My current job is devouring older men. I enjoy laughing at other people's misfortunes. Message me for more info if you wish. I promise I don't bite. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
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BMTHsuperfan's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by hypercrite dad / 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm / United States / Love
by kitkat / 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm / United States / Love
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids
Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 10:39am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Nat / 09/13/2014 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML
by Dafuq happen there / 08/23/2014 at 3:34am / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML
by confidence taken / 08/23/2014 at 2:26am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
by I hate children / 08/18/2014 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Kids
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…