Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BMTHsuperfan

Online | Search for a member

BMTHsuperfan

1Liked!

BMTHsuperfan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 22908
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About BMTHsuperfan : Hey my name is Morgan(: Bisexual, Gemini. I enjoy laughing at other people's misfortunes. Message me for more info if you wish. I promise I don't bite. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
Follow me on Tumblr @sinful-mermaid

BMTHsuperfan's page activity

Visits<b>steftriv</b> - 18 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 7:56am<b>sspence</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:43am<b>gogators941</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>Saso</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:00pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:16am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Notyours007</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:15am<b>okcnation</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:10am<b>SlipperyNipple</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:09pm<b>tjcall12</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:21pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:57am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:54am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:25pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 4:07am

Liked!<b>Pwib</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:09am

BMTHsuperfan's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of BMTHsuperfan's badges

BMTHsuperfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (4552)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (9215)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

#21235893
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (2743)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (3047)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47769) - you deserved it (5553)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

#21234068
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33129) - you deserved it (8412)

On 08/10/2014 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38369) - you deserved it (12774)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43929) - you deserved it (6752)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (5963)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

#21232320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (11232)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:40am - love - by alisaav (woman) - Thailand

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46272) - you deserved it (4025)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (3843)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML

#21231531
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33579) - you deserved it (4610)

On 08/07/2014 at 4:23am - money - by MoMoneyMoProblems (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: