Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BMTHsuperfan

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

BMTHsuperfan

1Liked!

BMTHsuperfan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 23253
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About BMTHsuperfan : Hey my name is Morgan(: Bisexual, Gemini. I enjoy laughing at other people's misfortunes. Message me for more info if you wish. I promise I don't bite. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
Follow me on Tumblr @sinful-mermaid

BMTHsuperfan's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 7:14pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:45am<b>sspence</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:43am<b>gogators941</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:43am<b>Saso</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:00pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:16am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Notyours007</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:15am<b>okcnation</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:10am<b>SlipperyNipple</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:09pm<b>tjcall12</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:21pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:57am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:54am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:25pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 4:07am

Liked!<b>Pwib</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:09am

BMTHsuperfan's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of BMTHsuperfan's badges

BMTHsuperfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you deserved it (2720)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (4387)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37500) - you deserved it (4488)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (10295)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45595) - you deserved it (3431)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18261) - you deserved it (48290)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (16271)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41561) - you deserved it (21389)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (18241)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you deserved it (4516)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51827) - you deserved it (4344)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50661) - you deserved it (11774)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: