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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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BMD4

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BMD4
  • Town/Country : fl
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 670
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (5380) - you deserved it (69138)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

#5706276 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (2685)

On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that 6 months ago I signed up for a 3 day trial for a porn website that turns into a $30 membership after 3 days. I completely forgot the day after and never viewed it. I've spent $180 so far. And I can't remember my password. FML

#5573814 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (5842) - you deserved it (43281)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:22pm - money - by GetMoney (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (1631)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

#5488289 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

#5413899 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (30056) - you deserved it (2528)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (11007)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

#5306041 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (10573) - you deserved it (8820)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by turnoff (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was called by my son's school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551 (526)

I agree, your life sucks (5781) - you deserved it (71973)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry 'Fiance' of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

#5287091 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (41905) - you deserved it (1678)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:34am - love - by OhDamn (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (3440)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

#5280220 (22)

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (1333)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:24pm - kids - by Kellye (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

#5269126 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (1236)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141 (35)

I agree, your life sucks (14755) - you deserved it (4827)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (2984)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)