About BIGBOY4rmAHM : Well all I gotta say is; I love white women!!!
50 favourites
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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60834) - you deserved it (6914)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (1003)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (12663)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14864) - you deserved it (43423)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47080) - you deserved it (129044)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (284793) - you deserved it (28918)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (189162) - you deserved it (21759)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14905) - you deserved it (49685)
On 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by FMluck (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (9703)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182912) - you deserved it (61938)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182912) - you deserved it (61938)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (1684)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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