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Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (337862)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9479) - you deserved it (113169)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (1383)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (3778)
On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55035) - you deserved it (6687)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)
Today, my company hired a new guy to help on our project. My boss said that he would shadow me for the whole day so he could learn our system. At the end of the day my boss fired me, handed my company car keys and laptop to my "shadow for the day" right in front of me. My Mom picked me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (1396)
On 02/06/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Joey (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked to class in the rain after reading all 1200 pages of War and Peace in one sitting trying to cram for an in class essay. When I arrived nobody was there. I checked the finals postings to see that mine was actually yesterday at 7 am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (15020)
On 02/06/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by joelikewhoa (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (2778)
On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (176966) - you deserved it (7209)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15923) - you deserved it (26170)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (20288)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (2445)
On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15215) - you deserved it (1922)
On 01/28/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by noneoftheabove - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13137) - you deserved it (2702)
On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (1572)
On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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