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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199661) - you deserved it (58891)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137622) - you deserved it (8752)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
I agree, your life sucks (151227) - you deserved it (21715)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137552) - you deserved it (24608)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137302) - you deserved it (20763)
On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta
Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (40478)
On 03/16/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by not_so_sweet_sixteen - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML
I agree, your life sucks (131642) - you deserved it (18243)
On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115631) - you deserved it (4219)
On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462043) - you deserved it (573967)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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