Azucar2011

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Azucar2011

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3542
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Azucar2011's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:08pm<b>ImaWiseGuy</b> - the 07/21/2011 at 3:08pm

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Azucar2011's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

by malloreigh / 02/28/2012 at 12:19am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

by malloreigh / 02/28/2012 at 12:19am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm / United States / Love

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

by TheCrossingChick / 11/30/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy