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Azrael9's favorite FMLs
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
by Pisser / 06/26/2014 at 12:57am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by massachusettsan / 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML
by callmeclarence / 06/23/2014 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Animals
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by paywithpoop / 06/22/2014 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 1:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML
by misoranomegami / 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm / United States / Intimacy
by Fat Arsed Lass / 06/01/2014 at 6:28am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health
by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by angelamegan21 / 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (Florida) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people.… Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going… Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed…