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Azrael9

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Azrael9

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 July 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6520
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:19am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>JedTheSped</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:25am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:18am

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Azrael9's favorite FMLs

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44256) - you deserved it (32383) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58196) - you deserved it (4585)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58743) - you deserved it (10837)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47852) - you deserved it (9962)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53843) - you deserved it (3458)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48823) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45363) - you deserved it (3428)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

#20747987
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36888) - you deserved it (3554)

On 06/26/2013 at 5:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35323) - you deserved it (3001)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (8675)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78133) - you deserved it (7086)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58576) - you deserved it (3812)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56869) - you deserved it (7986)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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