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Azrael9

Offline (the 12/14/2014 at 1:50am) | Search for a member

Azrael9

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 July 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8103
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:19am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>JedTheSped</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:25am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:18am

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Azrael9's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44527) - you deserved it (8825)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50650) - you deserved it (3864)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60364) - you deserved it (4388)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41734) - you deserved it (9026)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55369) - you deserved it (4660)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52667) - you deserved it (8980)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55557) - you deserved it (2910)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44014) - you deserved it (14439)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53672) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

#20790160
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48483) - you deserved it (6220)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (50520)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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