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Azrael9's favorite FMLs
Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML
by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Stripes_And_Dots / 09/14/2013 at 2:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML
by Carebeareatu / 09/14/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
by Anonynommer / 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work
by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 9:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by StefanKa / 09/09/2013 at 5:30am / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Animals
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML
by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love
by ...thanks / 09/07/2013 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous