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Azrael9

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Azrael9

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 July 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6519
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Azrael9's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:19am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>JedTheSped</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:25am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:18am

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Azrael9's favorite FMLs

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36357) - you deserved it (4650)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56869) - you deserved it (7180)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50547) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49081) - you deserved it (4736)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (14890)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52871) - you deserved it (7979)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

#21200605
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43082) - you deserved it (7156)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42437) - you deserved it (3933)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

#21200186
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37718) - you deserved it (5140)

On 07/06/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by x.x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49659) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (6677)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38827) - you deserved it (7066)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

#21190761
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42006) - you deserved it (8601)

On 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51005) - you deserved it (6586)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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