Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Azrael9

Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 3:58pm) | Search for a member

Azrael9

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 July 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7844
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Azrael9's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:19am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>JedTheSped</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:25am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:18am

Azrael9's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Azrael9's badges

Azrael9's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (3611)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31296) - you deserved it (4045)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42494) - you deserved it (5134)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39749) - you deserved it (3531)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (4007)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (4007)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (3430)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (3430)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (9369)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33527) - you deserved it (5693)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33527) - you deserved it (5693)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49513) - you deserved it (4713)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49513) - you deserved it (4713)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: