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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3351) - you deserved it (342)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3185) - you deserved it (674)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3677) - you deserved it (296)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3925) - you deserved it (352)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3529) - you deserved it (597)
On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4393) - you deserved it (554)
On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4941) - you deserved it (1036)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you deserved it (409)
On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5605) - you deserved it (720)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5929) - you deserved it (386)
On 05/19/2012 at 6:02am - health - by lubey - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6123) - you deserved it (421)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14673) - you deserved it (1697)
On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10126) - you deserved it (1084) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7830) - you deserved it (580)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9884) - you deserved it (2143)
On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
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