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Azrael9

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 12:31am) | Search for a member

Azrael9

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 July 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14073
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:19am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>JedTheSped</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:25am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:18am

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Azrael9's favorite FMLs

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (3168)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (4049)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (4621)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (5872)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39952) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (4019)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (4019)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34978) - you deserved it (3980)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34978) - you deserved it (3980)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (11140)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (6009)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (6009)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53025) - you deserved it (5142)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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