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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (4557)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (1466)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15423) - you deserved it (923)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (2123)
On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11129) - you deserved it (19300)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (1761)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by mstar - United States
Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (3032)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (1496)
On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (17577)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (1465)
On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (1603)
On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11772) - you deserved it (17023)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5451) - you deserved it (13911)
On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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