Search for a member

Offline (the 11/15/2016 at 5:30pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1808
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Axelerate : Big FML fan since 2011. Always enjoying the laughs and facepalm-worthy stories.

Come say hi? :)

Axelerate's page activity

Visits<b>chrisfromCanada</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 1:52am<b>Fed21</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 5:11pm<b>roman11</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 2:09pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:17pm<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 5:17pm<b>doublefury22</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 11:46am<b>dedeanne08</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 10:59pm<b>Irene_19</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 12:33am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:40pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:41am<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:14am<b>michu</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 2:55pm<b>cobldude</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 10:45am<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:12pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:59am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:54pm

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 3:54am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:28pm<b>NoOrdinaryNZer</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:33pm<b>jerbear91</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 2:33am<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:18am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:34pm<b>jayray313</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:25am<b>cutiepie292929</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:38am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:25pm<b>luridz</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:01pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:57pm<b>smileforcma</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:20pm<b>SamSwebb</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 2:41pm<b>nechelle365</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:28pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:38pm<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:16pm<b>hippokrates</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:27pm

Axelerate's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Axelerate's badges

Axelerate's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

by hiitisbrooke / 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, a girl I've liked for the longest time kept asking me to reveal my "deepest secret" in exchange for hers. Thinking this was flirting, I told her my secret was that I liked her. Her secret was that she was a "lesbian and just had to tell somebody." FML

by malcolmXXX / 10/13/2015 at 10:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I decided to take a well-deserved shower. When I let my hair down, twenty six cents fell onto the floor. I have no idea how they got there. FML

by kissandcontrol01 / 10/10/2015 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML

by Lilo4life / 08/06/2015 at 11:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

by henhouse / 07/18/2015 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

by see you next cunt / 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm / United States / Health

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

by mother to an ugly doll / 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids