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Axelerate

Offline (the 09/01/2015 at 7:57pm) | Search for a member

Axelerate

19Fucked!

Axelerate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1253
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Axelerate : Big FML fan since 2011. Always enjoying the laughs and facepalm-worthy stories.

Come say hi? :)

Axelerate's page activity

Visits<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Hayla97</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:53pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:08am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:37am<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:07pm<b>lizbethmathers03</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:21am<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:34am<b>smileforcma</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:48pm<b>mr_dour</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:58am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:41pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:09am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:46am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 4:31am<b>Averyniceperson</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:02am<b>aishah77</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:13pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:11pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:41am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:55pm

Fucked!<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:34pm<b>jayray313</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:25am<b>cutiepie292929</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:38am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:25pm<b>luridz</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:01pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:57pm<b>smileforcma</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:20pm<b>SamSwebb</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 2:41pm<b>nechelle365</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:28pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:38pm<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:16pm<b>hippokrates</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:27pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:19pm<b>icnburbbygrl</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:06pm<b>caggybandicoot</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:02pm

Axelerate's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Axelerate's badges

Axelerate's favorite FMLs

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (1777)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML

#21452688
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22243) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/06/2015 at 11:18am - misc - by Lilo4life - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2821)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45993) - you deserved it (3357)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (35097)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (3097)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (16112)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56791) - you deserved it (4821)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (3875)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (11589)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17875) - you deserved it (65154)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (2738)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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