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AwkwardTurtle97

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AwkwardTurtle97

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AwkwardTurtle97
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 December 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 247
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AwkwardTurtle97 : Follow me on Instagram: Patricks.Panty.Raid
Kik: ShadowBloodDrop
Bass
Violin
Singing
SpecialFX makeup
Colored hair
Peace, love and understanding

AwkwardTurtle97's page activity

Visits<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:07pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:03pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:02am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:39am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:11am<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:00am<b>BrotherPhil</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:12am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:22am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:05am<b>pred8885</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:50am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:03am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:50pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:03pm<b>devinsanders1925</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:53pm<b>L2PlayWoW</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:12pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:08pm

Liked!<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:22pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:03pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:09am<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:32pm

AwkwardTurtle97's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of AwkwardTurtle97's badges

AwkwardTurtle97's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (17511)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37583) - you deserved it (10590)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (52081)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50537) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50537) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50537) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

#21185830
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43807) - you deserved it (5871)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm - love - by criley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27019) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24074) - you deserved it (3876)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (32466)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (2542)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124613) - you deserved it (6501)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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