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AwkwardStalker

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AwkwardStalker

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 395
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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AwkwardStalker's page activity

Visits<b>stoych</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:19pm<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:08am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 9:11pm<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 10:32am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 12:47am<b>Trivision</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 10:39pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 6:09pm

AwkwardStalker's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of AwkwardStalker's badges

AwkwardStalker's favorite FMLs

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41518) - you deserved it (2351)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (2755)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (3961)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

#20845898
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (9057)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

#20845667
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35124) - you deserved it (5037)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by nice guys finish last - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41164) - you deserved it (8126)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (6627)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40150) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75700) - you deserved it (4221)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (2481)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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