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About AwkwardPartyBear : ~Hello There Stalker! Im Awkward!~I am a magical pony who lives in Pinkie Pie's basement. She feeds me apple pie made from AppleJack's family! And Fluttershy lets me pet her bunny! Rarity handles the clothing down here and keeps me updated on the latest fashion. Anyways, I never come out often, because I'm on the FML app. I'm undercover to get interesting stories for Twilight. Also, I have a drunk bear holding balloons in its paws on my upper right asscheek, like most ponies who have random crap on their ass. I can fly like some ponies do, but I am also a Unicorn. Even though my kickass flying makes ponies jelly, RainbowDash always beat me in races. That bastard! Derpy is one of my bestest friends (We like to derp alot). The ponies call me awkward, because there for, I am awkward. My original name in pony language is Neeeeeyyyy.. But in English it is PartyBear. I will be happy to teach you horse language if you like.
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Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML
Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
Friday 17 October 2014