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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (19843)
On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (17010)
On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)
Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (3557)
On 07/22/2010 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31076) - you deserved it (3984)
On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11258) - you deserved it (28677)
On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (1351)
On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (6857)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4879) - you deserved it (17604)
On 01/31/2010 at 12:42pm - love - by depr3ssed (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (9030)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6162) - you deserved it (15297)
On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear - United States (Colorado)
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (3124)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70329) - you deserved it (3936)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (2542)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)
Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (2542)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)
Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21086) - you deserved it (1892)
On 12/25/2009 at 12:16am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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