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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28067) - you deserved it (7095)
On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7654) - you deserved it (57421)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17669) - you deserved it (12005)
On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (16727)
On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -
Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33011) - you deserved it (5081)
On 01/31/2011 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by MollyMadamme -
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (6924)
On 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by ihateteenagers (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you deserved it (2139)
On 12/19/2010 at 6:29am - misc - by byepolar_bare (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10998) - you deserved it (58514)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (4146)
On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (9532)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43836) - you deserved it (3013)
On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (3646)
On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (2225)
On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (2225)
On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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