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Avoriginies

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Avoriginies

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1567
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Avoriginies's page activity

Visits<b>LOLgasmic123</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:42am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 3:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:16pm<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 3:50pm<b>randomshuffle369</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 9:36pm

Avoriginies's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Avoriginies's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (4540)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15652) - you deserved it (19690)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (25412)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59216) - you deserved it (3045)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3362)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

#20065827
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (1789)

On 09/10/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by NotJessePinkmanFFS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (2056)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (3404)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (3404)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11175) - you deserved it (27105)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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