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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18197) - you deserved it (49524)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8187) - you deserved it (66941)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35250) - you deserved it (7731)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35620) - you deserved it (7114)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105213) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (39251)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10296) - you deserved it (34303)
On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (4934)
On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (48206)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (48206)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (9420)
On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (718)
On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (6798)
On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (43716)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39219) - you deserved it (3006)
On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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