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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (3118)
On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4929) - you deserved it (40305)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (1371)
On 08/06/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by mississippi123 - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (1809)
On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (1325)
On 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by HappyMan (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9559) - you deserved it (11941)
On 08/02/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by purplexangel (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16547) - you deserved it (1327)
On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (7243)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15947) - you deserved it (1451)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45738) - you deserved it (7548)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16267) - you deserved it (855)
On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15682) - you deserved it (2033)
On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20318) - you deserved it (3057)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8862) - you deserved it (31274)
Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18721) - you deserved it (3697)
On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Monday 17 June 2013
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