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Avoriginies's favorite FMLs
by lonelygirl / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by seamonkeys / 03/21/2013 at 5:42am / United States / Kids
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by walkingdictionary / 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
by Latina / 01/11/2013 at 5:24am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
- Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel… Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at,… Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door,…