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Avoriginies

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Avoriginies
  • Town/Country : mondovi, united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 July 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1149
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Avoriginies's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Avoriginies's favorite FMLs

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

#17233163
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (68574)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (7775)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (8956)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117123) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17687) - you deserved it (48495)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML

#16845946
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (1945)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by thatguy - Canada

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11536) - you deserved it (43093)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (5252)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (60901)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (60901)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

#16424088
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (3253)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

#16081373
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (9482)

On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (6673)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36612) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

#15767181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36225) - you deserved it (7268)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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