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Avoriginies

Offline (the 07/22/2015 at 9:15pm) | Search for a member

Avoriginies

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5439
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Avoriginies's page activity

Visits<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:12pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:54am<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:59am<b>Johnatron</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 8:01pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:17am<b>LOLgasmic123</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:42am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 3:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:16pm<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 3:50pm<b>randomshuffle369</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 9:36pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:34am

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Avoriginies's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

#19202074
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (3243)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34657) - you deserved it (6497)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

#19063731
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (2703)

On 02/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (9978)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51461) - you deserved it (8623)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41359) - you deserved it (9766)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

#18714264
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39502) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:43am - money - by cazorp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (74132)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (6652)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

#18421974
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (4916)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30242) - you deserved it (2583)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (10085)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34072) - you deserved it (9421)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (7223)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20672) - you deserved it (44692)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)



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