Avoriginies

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Offline (the 10/30/2015 at 5:39pm)

Avoriginies

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7251
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Avoriginies's page activity

Visits<b>Cligg</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:31am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 8:30am<b>colinabi</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 6:18am<b>Illuminati_</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:40pm<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:12pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:54am<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:59am<b>Johnatron</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 8:01pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:17am<b>LOLgasmic123</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:42am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 3:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:16pm<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 3:50pm<b>randomshuffle369</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 9:36pm

Avoriginies's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Avoriginies's favorite FMLs

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 2:25am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

by biwhat / 03/08/2014 at 4:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

by Ms. Piggy / 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

by Maxime / 02/27/2014 at 7:32pm / Love

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

by cryface / 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

by sally / 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy