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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Avocado_

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Avocado_
  • Town/Country : Austin, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 January 1978 (34 years)
  • Number of visits : 361
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Avocado_ : My name Chone Figgins'
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Avocado_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML

#6322729 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (12793) - you deserved it (23738)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66548) - you deserved it (9416)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

#5708797 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (23045) - you deserved it (11085)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (5365)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

#4403752 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (75396) - you deserved it (2062)

On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by redbluegreen (woman) - United States (Oregon)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (2495)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (11153)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141718) - you deserved it (53041)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)