Avenator5

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Offline (the 11/10/2015 at 7:26am)

Avenator5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 751
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Avenator5's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 12:06pm<b>celebi82</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:56pm<b>julaylay99</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:31pm<b>ohray</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:27am<b>jillyanzen</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:56am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:24am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:14am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:34pm<b>pmay1212</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:51am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:39am<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:06am<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Wiggy11</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:46pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:39pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:58am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:20am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:59am

Avenator5's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Avenator5's badges

Avenator5's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

by wtfdad / 11/16/2014 at 12:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

by MissBeyoncé / 10/13/2014 at 4:13am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Animals

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

by whywouldyoudothat / 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Love

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

by tbee / 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (California) / Love