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Avenator5

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Avenator5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 125
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Avenator5's page activity

Visits<b>julaylay99</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:31pm<b>ohray</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:27am<b>jillyanzen</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:56am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:24am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:14am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:34pm<b>pmay1212</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:51am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:39am<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:06am<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Wiggy11</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:46pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:39pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:58am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:20am<b>nick2356</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:10am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:59am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:18pm

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Avenator5's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (3497)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (18089)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

#21252624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (9192)

On 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by tbee - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34304) - you deserved it (16123)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41441) - you deserved it (7833)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (7386)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35679) - you deserved it (7225)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45006) - you deserved it (7571)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (5670)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (13724)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (4878)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36056) - you deserved it (3246)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55995) - you deserved it (5187) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)



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