Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Avenator5

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 11:57pm) | Search for a member

Avenator5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 254
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Avenator5's page activity

Visits<b>julaylay99</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:31pm<b>ohray</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:27am<b>jillyanzen</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:56am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:24am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:14am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:34pm<b>pmay1212</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:51am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:39am<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:06am<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Wiggy11</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:46pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:39pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:58am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:20am<b>nick2356</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:10am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:59am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:18pm

Avenator5's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Avenator5's badges

Avenator5's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (3169)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36179) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (3415)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35449) - you deserved it (3141)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35031) - you deserved it (4120)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (11077)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34651) - you deserved it (3225)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48874) - you deserved it (4324)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (3895)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (18235)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

#21252624
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32320) - you deserved it (9216)

On 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by tbee - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (17138)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (8646)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (7827)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (7247)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: