About AvatheAvacodo : I like cats.
I like hats.
I have a brother.
I am a girl.
I am young.
I have fun.
I like to sing.
I have long blonde hair.
I have beady blue eyes.
I have to say goodbye now.
About AvatheAvacodo : I like cats.
AvatheAvacodo's FML badges
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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AvatheAvacodo's favorite FMLs
by ayeayeboy19 / 09/11/2014 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML
by hannahka / 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by damn it rose / 05/31/2014 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
by idk / 05/27/2014 at 11:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by seriously? / 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
by N O / 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML
by fuckmuppet / 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML
by Laura / 05/27/2014 at 11:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Birthday Surprise / 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by dear god why / 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
by badteacher / 10/24/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/09/2009 at 12:47am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
by Nobody / 10/10/2009 at 8:07am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
- Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of… Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was… Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her…