Authoress14

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Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 1:28pm)

Authoress14

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2524
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Authoress14 : 22. Brooklyn. Inked. Tell it as it is. 'Nuff said

Authoress14's page activity

Visits<b>thatoneguy255</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 11:34pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:27am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 12:54am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:12am<b>Phantom425</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:35pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 1:03pm<b>TheDoctorDonna</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:55pm<b>pedopears</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:55am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:26am<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:20pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:56pm<b>thefmlstarfruit</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:39am<b>bl865ood</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:10pm<b>kudwafuuu</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:05am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:19pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:30am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:55pm<b>pedopears</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:55pm

Authoress14's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Authoress14's badges

Authoress14's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

by conbon123 / 04/29/2013 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

by citylife / 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm / United States / Money

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

by DJ / 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

by CaBur / 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

by Awkward / 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Health

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

by 3some? uh, no / 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm / Dominican Republic / Love

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals