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Authoress14

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Authoress14

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1140
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Authoress14 : 22. Brooklyn. Inked. Tell it as it is. 'Nuff said

Authoress14's page activity

Visits<b>jillyanzen</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:50pm<b>Shenabina</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:11pm<b>ThenamesEevee</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:18am<b>savannah65</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 12:58am<b>captainObviously</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 4:01pm<b>sophieeanniee</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 9:15pm<b>warriorkitty_</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Dream_Of_Waking</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:57am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Npinzon1994</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:53am<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 2:45am<b>camsaltysquares</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 2:40am<b>ASaranap</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 12:44am<b>mcmuffinman1</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 11:20pm<b>mariannezr</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:23pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:14pm<b>edward80</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 5:54pm

Authoress14's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Authoress14's badges

Authoress14's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39182) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44307) - you deserved it (2987)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

#20867699
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (4401)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56228) - you deserved it (5998)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43020) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45200) - you deserved it (5906)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49160) - you deserved it (4660)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (7022)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47614) - you deserved it (13586)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (2957)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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