Authoress14

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Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 1:28pm)

Authoress14

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2533
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Authoress14 : 22. Brooklyn. Inked. Tell it as it is. 'Nuff said

Authoress14's page activity

Visits<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 7:55am<b>thatoneguy255</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 11:34pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:27am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 12:54am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:12am<b>Phantom425</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:35pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 1:03pm<b>TheDoctorDonna</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:55pm<b>pedopears</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:55am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:26am<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:20pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:56pm<b>thefmlstarfruit</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:39am<b>bl865ood</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:10pm<b>kudwafuuu</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:05am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:19pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:55pm<b>pedopears</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:55pm

Authoress14's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Authoress14's badges

Authoress14's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML

by UGGGH that was my 2nd attempt too / 09/04/2013 at 5:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

by Rapunzel1974 / 09/01/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

by EpicJman2828 / 06/27/2013 at 12:27am / United States / Animals

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

by Lepisma / 06/26/2013 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 3:25am / France / Money