AustinDenton

Search for a member

Offline (2 hours ago)

AustinDenton

74Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3709
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About AustinDenton :

AustinDenton's page activity

Visits<b>vampy719</b> - 16 hours ago<b>justindrew14</b> - 18 hours ago<b>niccill</b> - yesterday at 2:00pm<b>Tripartita</b> - yesterday at 12:26pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 1:24am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:14pm<b>classicate</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:17am<b>Kris_326</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:31am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:59pm<b>hmrhoades</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:12pm<b>playhard_1359</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 4:53pm<b>nekksass</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:59pm<b>orange88</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:01am<b>ElvishTea</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 7:09am<b>bbackensto</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:11pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:09am<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 3:07am

Fucked!<b>classicate</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 12:28am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:53am<b>vampy719</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:46pm<b>bellles</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 7:53am<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:52am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:52am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:34pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 5:18am<b>dieana</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:26am<b>missa8604</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 12:44am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:41am<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 4:25am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 1:26pm<b>emi_alejandra</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 7:37pm<b>michu</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:11pm<b>love_electra</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 1:39am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:09am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:47am

AustinDenton's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of AustinDenton's badges

AustinDenton's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

by Sleepdeprived / 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Maine) / Animals

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

by fuck you right back, cockspit / 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

by dareyale / 07/26/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

by ouch / 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

by Lois / 02/09/2013 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:12am / United States / Kids

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

by refticon / 02/06/2013 at 3:45am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

by fucking mafia or what?? / 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous