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AustinDenton

Offline (the 09/14/2014 at 2:12am) | Search for a member

AustinDenton

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1438
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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AustinDenton's page activity

Visits<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - yesterday at 11:59pm<b>Ariet</b> - yesterday at 11:14pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:56pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:57am<b>Helen_1988</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:14pm<b>BrendenTaylor</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:55pm<b>sparky454</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:46am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:08pm<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:01pm<b>GuessWut</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:32am<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:30pm<b>katie55220</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:13am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:27am<b>cammydelo15</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:04am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:31pm<b>whoredom</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:32am<b>jamielynn111</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 8:26am<b>bnapier</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:00am

Liked!<b>QueenaSng</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:02am<b>superbopbop</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:15pm<b>JoshuaOdom</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:25pm

AustinDenton's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of AustinDenton's badges

AustinDenton's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42508) - you deserved it (9065)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43667) - you deserved it (7781)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38515) - you deserved it (3903)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62300) - you deserved it (5414)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (27218)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57333) - you deserved it (4903)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38541) - you deserved it (3755)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

#20801510
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39094) - you deserved it (14342)

On 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44133) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (5301)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (32042)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29105) - you deserved it (2857)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (7862)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46370) - you deserved it (7922)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (3037)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)



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