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Aussie27's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Aussie27's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
by vhtdgjj / 11/29/2010 at 1:26pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:36am / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 2:12am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 7:25am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by jrad / 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML
by ouch / 09/01/2010 at 9:50am / Belgium (Brabant) / Love
by fmlskank93 / 09/01/2010 at 7:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by bkay26 / 08/29/2010 at 11:37am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…