About Ausdank : on here looking for a good laugh. msg if you'd like. open minded relaxed and likes gaming.
Ausdank's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Ausdank's favorite FMLs
Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML
by whiteycan'tgetitrightey / 02/24/2015 at 6:13pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 2:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals
Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML
by financially_wreckd / 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm / Money
by Anonymous / 12/12/2014 at 11:02am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health
Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML
by not on life, that's for fucking sure / 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm / United States / Work
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday… Today, it was me and my husband's anniversary. He was at work, so I decided to dress up "sexy". You… Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so…