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Aurelian

Offline (the 01/13/2014 at 2:50pm) | Search for a member

Aurelian

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 161
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Aurelian : potato salad

Warhammer 40k fanatic

Aurelian's page activity

Visits<b>miliaras93</b> - 54 minutes ago<b>abdiG</b> - one hour ago<b>Aquamarine9</b> - 2 hours ago<b>BBlah</b> - 4 hours ago<b>VMG</b> - 7 hours ago<b>watermelon1</b> - 8 hours ago<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 5:24am<b>countrygirl71</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:48am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:06am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:36pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:22pm<b>callmefunnymam</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:40pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:06pm<b>dreamerG</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:56pm<b>lunar_star</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:42am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:11am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:38pm

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Aurelian's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51371) - you deserved it (7694)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44103) - you deserved it (8301)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55127) - you deserved it (7017)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42648) - you deserved it (6404)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41613) - you deserved it (3711)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40255) - you deserved it (9323)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46252) - you deserved it (6545)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47497) - you deserved it (20960)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (4379)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48679) - you deserved it (6365)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54743) - you deserved it (27525)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53955) - you deserved it (3098)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43815) - you deserved it (7951)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (7455)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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