Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Attacksloth

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Attacksloth

16Liked!

AttackslothAttacksloth
  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1733
  • Number of comments : 208
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 16 posted

About Attacksloth : I'm a huge book nerd. I love reading about history. I'm currently writing a thesis that has to do with nineteenth-century Victorian London. Happily married, owner of 1 cat, 1 dog, and 8 fish. I do freelance photography. Tennis and golf are my two favourite sports, lifting weights is addictive, and I'm definitely not into the partying scene.

This website is a time sink but it's a great stress reliever. Always up for a chat with anyone, so shoot me a message no matter who you are.

Attacksloth's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - yesterday at 8:07pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - yesterday at 6:27pm<b>uridea</b> - yesterday at 5:40pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - yesterday at 8:34am<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:10pm<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Emile_of_owata</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:06pm<b>Tamara93</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:45pm<b>rainbowkiller</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:59pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:37am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Tessa_11</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:11pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:14pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:52am<b>Laughatmypain15</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:00am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:15pm<b>xanneuhjj</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:22pm

Liked!<b>Emile_of_owata</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:06am<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:37pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:18am<b>awkwardeer</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:26am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:30pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:20am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:48am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:40pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:14am<b>FML5556789</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:42pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:30pm<b>BrowningDoe94</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:12am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:31am<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>vampy719</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:20am

Attacksloth's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Attacksloth's badges

Attacksloth's favorite FMLs

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (3082)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39416) - you deserved it (6075)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
105 comments

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44176) - you deserved it (5057)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49405) - you deserved it (6221)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36847) - you deserved it (4713)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (3281)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

#21119632
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (4535)

On 04/22/2014 at 1:31am - health - by Tomatoe Face - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49323) - you deserved it (13051)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32353) - you deserved it (10442)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52350) - you deserved it (14641)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54187) - you deserved it (13440)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: