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AstroxZombiesx

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AstroxZombiesx

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  • Number of visits : 559
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AstroxZombiesx : |: i suck at these. but hi.

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AstroxZombiesx's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (17212)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63182) - you deserved it (5113)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57205) - you deserved it (17199)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

#3799026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36462) - you deserved it (4776)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51906) - you deserved it (8043)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52066) - you deserved it (9431)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

#3429206
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48248) - you deserved it (3317)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55800) - you deserved it (8568)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

#3246317
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (6243)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by sad_panda (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (10373)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89499) - you deserved it (13997)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89499) - you deserved it (13997)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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