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AssOf2009

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AssOf2009

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 September 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2489
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About AssOf2009 : I've been to known to laugh at the wrong times, but I am a good person.

AssOf2009's page activity

Visits<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 1:01pm<b>llamasoks</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 10:28am<b>cutebebe778</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 6:02pm

AssOf2009's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

AssOf2009's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (31844)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13428) - you deserved it (58622)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

#2158517
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61055) - you deserved it (11147)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31823) - you deserved it (140872)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137764) - you deserved it (14061)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

#1746299
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51895) - you deserved it (5154)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by Wally (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74785) - you deserved it (3893)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

#1723493
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (53395)

On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61826) - you deserved it (2689)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (19929)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60773) - you deserved it (2874)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22940) - you deserved it (81995)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22940) - you deserved it (81995)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)



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